Getting Started with Task Management for ADHD
I get stressed out when I think about my pile of tasks that I know I need to get done. I get stressed out thinking about thinking about them. I get even more stressed out when I see a gigantic list of things I need to do. And, at the end of the day, when I realize I maybe got two things finished, I feel like the day was a failure. My stack of tasks barely shrunk - and if I'm really unlucky, I've added more to the stack. Fuck.
Why Traditional To-Do Lists Didn't Help
Traditional to-do lists often make things worse for people with ADHD or any other thing that impacts executive function or cognition (think the now well-known curse of Brain Fog):
- Too much choice - seeing 20 tasks creates decision paralysis.
- No clear starting point - which task should I do first?
- Overwhelming visuals - long lists trigger anxiety.
- Shame-based design - incomplete tasks feel like personal failures.
- Gamification - Serotonin-driven mechanics that just feel gross.
The One-Task-at-a-Time Approach
Instead of showing everything at once, I needed an app that makes focus on a single task. Maybe I have twenty things to do in my stack but that's going to freak me out. I just want to know what I need to do next. And I needed to not be punished for not clearing the list. Yes, I'm fully admitting that Apple's Reminder app makes me feel like shit when the text clearly indicates I missed something. But one task at a time? I can handle that.
- Reduced overwhelm - you only see what's next
- Clear action - no decision fatigue
- Visible progress - each completion feels meaningful
- No shame - "not today" is a valid choice
Getting Started
There's a temptation to add everything all at once every time I tried a new tool. Or the new tool prompted me to connect to my calendar, or Notion, or use AI to parse my emails and suggest things. I don't think you should do that with TearOff; you should maybe add a few things and see how it feels. I don't think you need to add big things either, sometimes it's just a matter of adding the basics that we easily miss:
- Drink water
- Eat breakfast
- Take medication
- Shower
- Get dressed
Keep it simple. Add more tasks only when these feel comfortable.
Remember
There's no "right" way to manage tasks. What works for others might not work for you, and that's okay. The goal is to find a system that reduces stress, not adds to it. If TearOff works for you, that's great. If a literal whiteboard works, that's awesome. If it's a series of coloured strings tied to different fingers works, that's weird but I totally support it.